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Feeling Secure - Scenes from the Inner Dialogue
The First is back in the hospital. His first day on work made him very tired, he feels he needs rest now. When the Second comes to visit him in the afternoon, he finds him rolled up in his bed, staring to the ground, a tear running over his face from time to time.
The Second takes a seat beside the bed of the First. He friendly talks to him: “You were at work today, I heard?”. The First wipes his hand across his face and nods. “I tried… at least…”, he murmurs. “The Boy told me how it went”, the Second says, “You’re still weak, aren’t you?”. The First does not answer. “You haven’t eaten enough for weeks”, the Second continues, “and you scarcely moved out of bed for the same time. Come on, let’s go out for a little walk. Some fresh air and some movement will be better for you than lying here clinging to your sad thoughts.” The First looks at the Second thoughtfully. “I know you’re right”, he slowly says, “but I’m not sure, if I can walk more than some steps.” He tries a little smile. “Might well be you have to carry me back…”. The Second smiles brightly. “If I have to, I will”, he says. “Let’s just try…”
So they’re out. The sun is shining warm on their backs. They walk slowly, without talking, just breathing the fresh air. It does not take long until the First stops, breathing hardly. “Wait…”, he says and grabs the shoulder of the Second. The Second turns to him, sees him shiver, his face covered with sweat. “You want to sit…?”, he asks putting his arm around the waist of the First, holding him. The First shakes his head. “No…”, he says. “…just a little dizzy.” Then he takes a deep breath and starts walking on. The Second keeps holding him by his arm. After some minutes the First nods. “’s better now…”, he says, loosening his tight grip on the arm of the Second - continuing to hold his hand.
So they walk on quietly, hand in hand. The Second watches the First from the side. “This is okay for you”, he asks after a while, “walking hand in hand with me?” The First doesn’t answer at once. Some steps later he murmurs: “Yes…”, then turns to the Second “It’s hard to admit”, he says, “but holding your hand makes me… feel secure…”
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