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For some reason completely unknown to me, or maybe it's just massive amounts of fuckin' stress, I keep having the most realistic, awful, gorey dreams I've ever had before. And oddly enough, my defense mechanism in ALL of them has been diminished to double chainsaws.
The other night, I had 7, count them 7, different zombie dreams. I fucking hate zombies. So why do I like them so much?
I don't know. But they were pretty gorey and scary as all hell. Parts of such dreams included burying myself in a coffin to hide from them, my backyard turning into a giant graveyard where half-zombies (think Return of the Living Dead) kept coming to bury their loved ones parts, demon possessed African tribal zombies, my living room bleeding, abandoned islands (reoccuring theme in alot of my dreams, don't know why) and of course chainsaws that kept turning off.
But last nights dreams topped them all. First, I had a dream that Jesse found a dead body in the woods next to a road. Like, Right Next to the road, in a muddy ditch. But not only was it a rotting body (I don't know how I dreamed up a completely realistic rotting, peeling flesh skull showing dead body but I did, so morbid of me), but it was the remnants and foundations of an old manson, where this dead body had apparently killed alot of children and demolished some chairs. Poor furniture. All the trees above us were noose ridden. It was really quite lovely.
But then the worst dream EVER had to follow it. Eventually, in this long ass dream, I had to kill my father in self defense.
With hardware.
Eventually, after nailing his legs to the ground, after my chainsaw had failed me, as I'm beating his head in with a hammer and the back of a nail gun, he smiles at me and laughs so sadly.
It's times like this that I really wish he was around to talk to. or that anyone was. I think I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown, but I'm just so used to them I don't think I'd be able to tell if I was.
And, on that note, the lump in my throat has now after 3 days traveled down to my ribcage and I can no longer swallow, or half the time breathe. Woohah.
»if you were good friends with a guy and wanted to make out with him, do you really want to hear about how some girl gave him a poprocks blowjob!?«
HEY. BOYS.
THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU ALL
(well, most of you anyway.)
I wish I was a pretty pretty lady and guys everywhere would want to cuddle me all the time and go so nuts for me instead of getting on the phone and thinking I'm the most boring person ever even though it's so true HARUMPH. I want long pretty hair and big stupid dumb doe eyes and and awesome little nose and I just want everything, don't I?
janeannskinner: boys are dumb!
Also, A blue haired friend of mine is having a baby (a real one) and it's coming out in May. This is weirdly awesome so much.
» The time has come, to speak of many things
On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first fifteen songs on the list (no matter how cheesy or embarrassing), and write down a random line of the song. Try to avoid putting the song title in the line. Then, have your friends comment and see if they know the songs.
1. I wanna shine on in the hearts of men, I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
2. Baby when you cry, your face is momentary, you hide your looks behind these scars
3. Oh shut up, you're only 16
4. I just want to be me, with everyhing it means
5. So far, Casper was diagnosed with holy freakaholic and became loose for super duper maneuvers!
6. Never kill a probation officer, keep your ass out of the metal clink
7. Out looking for a tigress in fishnet stockings and a rocking dress
8. He is perfect for me to practice surgery
9. Of Jacks and Queens and Kings, oh
10. And all you do is seem to remind me of all the times and the ways I would have died for you
11. Which came as some suprise, I spoke into his eyes
12. Ladies with an attitude, fellows that were in the mood
13. Crispin Glover save us all
14. All my feelings are more then I can let by, or not
15. Shut your windows and lock all your doors, choke on it
That's such a weird fucking combination of songs.
» Filmed You!
Yesterday was just about the worst day ever.
I woke up and realized my red hair looks AWFUL. I look like bozo or something.
I have a giant lump stuck in my throat so every time I attempt to swallow I end up screaming in pain and everyone looks at me like I'm retarded.
The Cult hoodie deadline was yesterday and I had no idea we were even selling them.
And I'm absolutely fuggin' terrified about going back to John Jay.
I had a conversation with Frank though, that reassured me in a bunch of things. Number one being that it's not just me, the world really does suck. And also that there are people out there that I like, and don't scare the shit out of me.
So, hooray.
» Confidental!
I love my imaginary friends
i flip wilson: If we ever meet, the first thing I do would no be shake your hand or even say hello, I would just pick your nose and eat it. In your face. What then.
i flip wilson: I just said »first thing I do would no be shake your hand«
Six Is A Zombie: well i cant read. I read it differentl a lot
Six Is A Zombie: see?
Six Is A Zombie: Oohhhh
i flip wilson: We are the same
Six Is A Zombie: I know it
i flip wilson: If someone says »you want ice cream?« we both say yes. Howinthehell?
» You're A Fish
I think...that the reason...I have no friends...is that I'm absolutely terrified of the people I like...so I just stare at the from a far...crosseyed...until they go away and I can breathe again.
I'm terrified of liking other people.
I am like a fish!
i flip wilson: You are like a fishhh
I cut off all of my extensions and died it all red and I look like a total whore. So hot.
At least I don't look like a bum. Sort of. I'm too lazy to wear any of my own clothes anymore. I've been wearing Jesse's for about a week.
It's ok to like him, I think, cause he saw me pee.
Uhm...
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