Anzahl Assoziationen zu diesem Stichwort (einige Beispiele folgen unten) 875, davon 872 (99,66%) mit einer Bewertung über dem eingestellten Schwellwert (-3) und 210 positiv bewertete (24,00%)
Durchschnittliche Textlänge 6382 Zeichen
Durchschnittliche Bewertung 0,134 Punkte, 509 Texte unbewertet.
Siehe auch:
positiv bewertete Texte
Der erste Text am 23.1. 2001 um 05:30:21 Uhr schrieb
Daniel Arnold über DATENMÜLL
Der neuste Text am 23.4. 2024 um 14:31:25 Uhr schrieb
schmidt über DATENMÜLL
Einige noch nie bewertete Texte
(insgesamt: 509)

am 26.5. 2003 um 20:15:50 Uhr schrieb
dasMoek über DATENMÜLL

am 5.6. 2003 um 04:02:41 Uhr schrieb
Count Calista Caligula Celina Cenobite Caligari über DATENMÜLL

am 3.6. 2005 um 22:04:11 Uhr schrieb
opterix über DATENMÜLL

Einige überdurchschnittlich positiv bewertete

Assoziationen zu »DATENMÜLL«

Daniel Arnold schrieb am 23.1. 2001 um 05:30:21 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 6 Punkt(e)

Mir fehlt(e bisher) ein Stichwort bei dem man mal so richtig ohne nachzudenken seinen Mist loswerden kann.
Daher nun alsoDatenmüll“.

Dabei muss gesagt werden, dass es schwer ist Datenmüll zu definieren. Denn sobald jemand Stift, Papier oder Tastatur zur Hand nimmt und einen Text schreibt, muss man ihm/ihr zumindest das Recht einräumen, den Text nicht zu verabscheuen solange man ihn nicht gelesen hat.
Dennoch hier nun also die Kategorie Datenmüll!
!“§$%&()=?`*’_:; Dazu erzähle ich euch nun, dass ich bereits so ( ) kurz davor stand diese Kategorie einzuführen, als mir meinich verachte dich, ich hasse dich abgrundtief, bist du eigentlich total beknackt, eines Tages werde ich dich mit einer Axt...“-Computer - korrigiere PC - einen Strich durch die Rechnung machte und mich aus dem Netscape-Navigator warf. Warum auch immer.;.jczj f
Und auf grund von bis zur selbstzerstörung gehendem kampfes gegen alles was tasten hat eckigist undwo pc draufsteht fange ichgv nun an dich wie #-..-.#_Ä&/%mit datenmüll zu ärgern erg.#_ich weiß das ist dir egal, aber solange ich meine vernünftigen daten die auf dir sind wenigstens einigermaßen behalten will , was mich vor der axt zurückschrecken lässt, müllei hc dich hin und wieder mit dastenmüll zu auch wenns dir ega l ist egal um dich dann doch wieder ach arghhtrhjdgflkjdhgfklöngblbäöpoujkljüpoöjklcbföjkgflxd warum sapiorusekrlöjdnm,gf.warumwarumwarumwarum

susanne schrieb am 31.8. 2005 um 16:54:46 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 2 Punkt(e)

nun, und sie hatten einander nichts mehr zu sagen,


erst du mir,






und jetzt fällt mir auch nichts mehr ein,

















































































































































































nun ....












































































































































hier unten kommt nichts mehr



































































































































































warum hast du weiter geschaut?













































































weil du dachtest, hier käme noch text?



















































































































ja, so kanns gehn




















































































































und ...















































hopla schrieb am 31.7. 2002 um 13:57:43 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 2 Punkt(e)

‹ÅZ[sÛ6~Ž~ÂÜf$Rò-¾HêÚ–»Ž4R&#353;iww: ’ˆxQÐrô°¿¶?cö€¤(J®i3ʃŠp.ß¹ƒé>¼?ÿòaH.Æ×ïȇOgï.ωÕrœÏ»çŽ3Ì‹=»MÆ‚&’+ž&4rœáÕotñ%þ Oð3¾¿öLS)Ó§¸X¶Î»*·^ݲhVlöéï6楒Ä|FYüB4ÆTL b˜g>ŸÛ´º9×ÁöØRÔ¨ßöT:#K Ç ”·½ ž¿Ž)TzÌ?ýç=|q?éB\Mä£ñ/‹áp ŸæÚ•¥e¤ú1ÜDgg“CHd{Ö#ýÄêwŸ¶Z /u3 ({.À~/­µõ/~4O^)ÜÞ‹/Ò™e‘döùÂð¡ù¡·4_ØïþÛ1—}ëUÃqZ­~·x°Q ØjdêØXQ´\„û/G>fÒŽX¨ôIûUƒ|¥®ÆÊlQ—½”,ò˧¯N ãF•³c*p£{öA±{Ö?Úm×õ}‹L7R¡Ÿ´Û»»AÌáöÍ›óóvÛ«·µ{jî…ÎÛ®¢“ˆ‘9÷TسŽvžA eQ4£žÇ“ ×ÖwrF]¼;$HILÀãa­€‡ÏPu%ú'ðãdcì”WÐÜi·‘hŠT¸Ê»»ÿ™G¤°«™0ƒÆúqNÀA’&#353;.ÑÔ »ð8…~ׇÐ&…ö¾tÚƒ]Úè\8m;à“¦sPÞéo ‡îÁé?í:æ¢ë øv(’·»Ø“ª&#353;ÐòÀ HæÊÅœK»“ÊßËë·K£4H DUL †* ›ÆH¤=KËÉ›D…lc¶x!I þœ*«ñ¤H/jJ®0GЧäêá„'/ä1)h 3Èa¦‹1y¨OP*¡0I’Å2gÃvh •MÆ_h“DŒ{¸+7ÐÔe”È”@ah0]w$eØD ÎëØÔÏç4X&yáv]ÕMqMˆÌ Œ‘÷>T2Öú Òb)÷’ˆ³I S B¸€¾³,ä 9ÖEÈ·>Klr:ƒ 0qCh3 i„Äp‚f=CÀæÌbB«sM·á#\°c€ÂI®;Ð9,2Á\„:ÞÓH¦  2á’Lhä=µÖC sp¸t ¼c5БŒïÿ«K7$v“UíT•‡I€ 64,ßuhÿ?eè {áŸ'†qµ»¾Ë¸­†s{5ÔÍrÜe«’ÿ“®T»M‚þsAÏÒ“XnÅ §{)´‡BÃj?I&ûy¤7—ãïo^€†NCðçy2‘³“R_Œ\bÓ \‰`I±u0ñQèÑG½«ùQÕ¾QÝ@QÍ:áý =k=gLt{½ËyŒ“†îWhäÄøn®tÝ&)ô=ÚXþDlЇ @QXn©`Ú°~³%S°˜˜FD+@çÕ¤ÁÙDñG2ÅçH—ˆ¡’9OK½Œnôñ-3>ãLX À…ºtâzÌ4ˆ¿Ò˜Ã[C$<ð3XºC³Ë0Èp1Óƒßc»ì<^ޝ_N]íב° ˜ËÈ- Sˆó™Ð˜´uÆ’ èt òÌ3 í°Œ rìRThÞ3pfÁtÀ'vO t|`¼`.>Ñ…éF¦ÏS¼JtÓ)…ùˆ&$ $0{Ä$¼4D“@/©¤ýŒ F¿§?܆­ªb0>`(­ÏÁä6Mt‹µÄºkÔhèä,gB¯‚ÁÓ/õôøS! ×^”ÊZí¸b ÌpÆ4Ðöü5“:ãbó®¥ YujÇÔ‚ÙqÜB4G3'@Ír»± Ù*ÖÞg4ŒÆf¤±¹ž”@ˆn'r{j ¡ä|j›ëŽÕŠÇ1n* è¼­E*IÒL—&#353;-Ç@ô™Ú¤V ì~¿;yTø†V>d«£B:4„Šö}ãiº.ÈÔGáN3 ¦žÆžíkJ‚Uz@%hB ]ÅÍŸ<‹ÞÀÀ™?”‰•\è0 À<ÌKR»FÊŸ(¬ç÷ o4jŠ4Ö2IŒ#ÍGZ`U/×^Oˆmƒ Ô'œún= Œ>ž¯L0Ÿ/ã‹Þ¹^¾½ÃÅé»qϲú÷Œ%Õn³\ó~kÍ_ôûî)¹ø8|Ó³ ”gÑ݈roĦ‚©“»ž{´ç[}sÛuNûMrÿ&·|éÜ ÉS-·_Ö^S) psïZ5u1”ï·ŸYËJ㦉Ïsúx¥¯3¡Å×õÈF7#ÝR€½ÌÛ<Ç€'?eÀK×WÒטbüT[ã¢ù¶ºŒcôÍ| ¥oT\×ŃÄ蛉!Z»R.%æ9‰`wjºZ3~ʘÒt®ù'=ô•ÊèI ì…±/AÅ㦱P ‡’þ¹žs6ÉS‡é{>Ã}qøVSzuÃYÏ7Ð+GœM —@oÅõ Øm” !pé(¾Ð±µÎòÓr¹A¦µ“ˆ•q³³<ÂXÖYì`3*§™”úõ|VײüJÂÌaSÅHæÜl½7Õ›CÀ(Ðëýk“é¦(?Dôõˆ5OJT>—ḒÊ 0pÐÄ ‰ßèi§©ÉÂË ÷¨¶u’*˜òÍG‡ní4+ë!èúÁä ƒÖ’Å•µ¾rí¦ÎPǦÔoîX¡¢¯1¨†èí»ö5Tãxö±ßÀ t¼ì+õÙäÏÞêfCƒÑX=ó»ÏüÚ2_v‹“÷ÎîîÑQçµqüÜýï Uk6ºƒËŸ‰þRÓ³f©ùÇt«Ó(SìÄ„ËñÎìî?vï<;!óÕñîѳ“EK§;ÆÏïËêî`yŸÝíT üNQàw–øö¿‘û^Áý`÷îïɽÓÞ÷×÷½ý¸ïîÝ‚ýÑÑ”/¹ïílÁí:¥åw`¿÷=ýîp+–ï”A· ·ÇX{¤ãí|W¿ßkoýn þá6Ü‚í÷—)ÿp Úï—½Fga_ɹû[`pPÚ~Úì—ow ¶ß)µ?Úû[Øã`ƒÿÍ góÿÿÃU÷CÆ,

elfboi schrieb am 18.12. 2002 um 00:30:17 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)






Advanced Search Preferences Language Tools Search Tips




Web


Images


Groups


Directory


News-New!


Searched the web for soup nazi.
Results 1 - 10 of about 27,700. Search took 0.08 seconds.

Category:
Arts > Television > Programs > Comedy > Sitcoms > Seinfeld

The Soup Nazi Headquarters
... September 2, 1996, page 20, The Soup Nazi's No. 1 fan. ... Now with sounds! On certain
quotes we now have WAV files from the Soup Nazi episode. Please read this. ...
users.aol.com/rynocub/soupnazi.htm - 7k - Cached - Similar pages

Soup Nazi's Crab Bisque, Top Secret Recipes version of
Printer friendly version! Click here. Top Secret Recipes version of The Soup Nazi's®
Crab Bisque by Todd Wilbur. Send this recipe to a friend! Click here. ...
www.topsecretrecipes.com/recipes/soupnaz4.htm - 10k - Cached - Similar pages

The Soup Nazi Cream of Sweet Potato Soup, Top Secret Recipes ...
Printer friendly version! Click here. Top Secret Recipes version of The Soup Nazi's®
Cream of Sweet Potato Soup by Todd Wilbur. Send this recipe to a friend! ...
Description: Version of The Soup Nazi's; serving six to eight.
Category: Home > Cooking > ... > Fruit and Vegetable > Potato > Creamed
www.topsecretrecipes.com/recipes/soupnaz1.htm - 10k - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.topsecretrecipes.com ]

Soup Nazi Page
Soup Nazi Wavs. The Seinfeld Soup Nazi episode is unquestioningly one
of the funniest shows I have ever seen, with some of the best ...
www.toptown.com/dorms/rick/SOUPPAGE.HTM - 5k - Cached - Similar pages

Soup Nazi
Soup Nazi. This is the home of the very famous soup made by the Soup Nazi
himself (but don't call him the soup nazi if you want any soup). ...
home.earthlink.net/~asena/soup.html - 3k - Cached - Similar pages

Seinfeld characters, J. Peterman, catalog company, soup nazi, ...
... Soup Nazi - the owner of a restaurant that makes the best soup in town,
but requires ordering instructions to be followed to the letter. ...
www.movieprop.com/tvandmovie/Seinfeld/ othercharacters3.htm - 15k - Cached - Similar pages

Seinfeld Season 7 Episode guide, Soup Nazi, Friars Club Roast New ...
... He is known as the soup nazi. ... Elaine is delighted to receive the furniture
as a gift and soon discovers its source, the Soup Nazi. ...
www.movieprop.com/tvandmovie/Seinfeld/season7.htm - 29k - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.movieprop.com ]

Seinfeld Quotes - The Soup Nazi
Seinfeld Quotes... »THE SOUP NAZI« "You're a shmoopy ... ordering procedure.
He's secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.» «Why? What happens ...
www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/nazi.htm - 11k - Cached - Similar pages

TBSsuperstation.com - Shows - Seinfeld - Episodes: Season 7
... Episodes: Season 7 :: The Soup Nazi While on the way to a soup stand whose demanding
proprietor's harsh rules have led to him being referred to as "The Soup ...
tbssuperstation.com/Shows/Story/ 0,8931,17%7C90%7C80%7C3698,00.html - 49k - Cached - Similar pages

Soup Nazi Mexican Chicken Chili
... Date: Fri, 27 Sep 2002 02:38:54 +0000 From: Janet janet @ aceratek.com Subject: Soup
Nazi Mexican Chicken Chili Newsgroup: rec.food.recipes In the most recent ...
www.cdkitchen.com/rfr/data/2002/1033447175.shtml - 20k - Cached - Similar pages



Result Page:




1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Next


Search within results

Dissatisfied with your search results? Help us improve.

Google Home - Advertise with Us - Search Solutions - Services & Tools - Jobs, Press, & Help



©2002 Google






Advanced Search Preferences Language Tools Search Tips




Web


Images


Groups


Directory


News-New!


Searched the web for suppennazi.
Results 1 - 6 of about 7. Search took 0.13 seconds.
Try Google Answers to get help from expert researchers.

Bilder1 - [ Translate this page ]
Back. Elaine und der Suppennazi. Back. ... Die Antwort kommt prompt, erst
hämisch grinsend: Ihr Verhalten beginnt den Suppennazi zu ärgern. ...
www.m-benz.de/Comedy/Seinfeld/Bilder1/bilder1.html - 13k - Cached - Similar pages

Seinfeld - [ Translate this page ]
... Der zweite wichtige Treffpunkt: Monk’s Coffeeshop, hier wird ausgiebig diskutiert.
Elaine und der Suppennazi. Kleine Bildergeschichten von Top-Szenen. ...
www.m-benz.de/Comedy/Seinfeld/seinfeld.html - 34k - Cached - Similar pages

Seinfeld - Besser, als sein Sendeplatz! - [ Translate this page ]
... Mal müssen sich die Vier mit demSuppennazirumschlagen, mal bekommen
sie ihre eigene TV - Show oder machen einen Trip nach LA . ...
www.tv-trash.de/Top_-_Trash/Seinfeld/seinfeld.html - 54k - 16 Dec 2002 - Cached - Similar pages

Infos über Seinfeld - [ Translate this page ]
Infos. Wer ist der echte »Suppennazi«? Al Yeganeh,der echte »Suppennazi«.
Der Suppennazi aus Seinfeld. Jeder richtige Seinfeldianer ...
www.seinwelt.de/seinfeld/infos%20.htm - 10k - Cached - Similar pages

Das Seinfeld-Quiz - [ Translate this page ]
... Fitnesstudio? 2.Wie schaffte es Kramer die »Kaworka« besiegen? 3.Wie
zwang Elaine den Suppennazi seinen Suppenküche aufzugeben? 4 ...
www.seinwelt.de/seinfeld/seintrivia.htm - 4k - Cached - Similar pages

Kommentar(e) zu: 'Eyetech Seite wurde gehackt' - [ Translate this page ]
... 9. Eyetech Seite wurde gehackt (Meldung). anonymous (16-Dez-2001, 00:35) @Petra:
Vielleicht meint er nur so etwas wie der »Suppennazi« von Seinfeld... ;-. ...
www.amiga-news.de/de/news/comments/ thread/AN-2001-12-00118-DE.html - 18k - Cached - Similar pages




Search within results

Dissatisfied with your search results? Help us improve.

Google Home - Advertise with Us - Search Solutions - Services & Tools - Jobs, Press, & Help




©2002 Google

elfboi schrieb am 29.4. 2003 um 23:55:48 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)




INTRODUCTION

ACT I

Melee Island
Pirate Attack
Stop the Catapult
Getting A Crew

Lucre Island
Law Office
The Robbery
Duplicating the Scent
Catching Pegnose
Finding the Loot

ACT II

Melee Again
The Blue Painting

Jambalaya Island
Transmogrification Academy
Starbucaneer's
Stan's Time Shares
Silver Monkey Head
The Golden Man
The Bronze Hat

ACT III

Monkey Island
The Milk Bottle
The Accordion
Gubernatorial Symbol
Monkey Kombat
Giant Monkey Robot

ACT III+

Melee Island
Kicking Large Butt





INTRODUCTION

Revision 11/30/00- The sequence of events on Jambalaya Island were incorrect. You could not successfully complete the quest for the Golden Man because you first must obtain the Dunce Cap from the Pirate Transmogrificatiion Academy. The steps in Act II have been corrected.

Thanks to Jan Philipp Giel for bringing this to our attention.

A Word About Control - EMI has no in-game mouse control. Guybrush is controlled with the keyboard, a joystick, or a gamepad. If you choose to use the keyboard for control make sure you have the joystick/gamepad disabled. You can do this by pressing the F1 key during game play then choosing »O« to display the Options menu. If the joystick/gamepad is not disabled Guybrush can act strangely and be hard to control with the arrow keys. Our hero can exhibit such strange behavior like walking in circles or repeatedly entering and exiting buildings without any input from you. Finally, you may have to do as I did on my system, physically unplug the joystick/gamepad from the computer since disabling them from the options menu did not completely turn them off. Once the joystick/gamepad was physically disabled, control of Guybrush was normal and without incident.

Directions - In this walkthrough, North, South, East and West means the top, bottom, right and left edges of the screen.

Participating In Insult Sports - To win an insult contest you must give an insult that your opponent cannot answer correctly. Stump your opponent enough times and you win. Guybrush always gives the first insult. The opponent then responds with an answer. If the answer is correct, the opponent immediately flings an insult back to Guybrush who must answer correctly. If Guybrush answers correctly then the sequence starts over with Guybrush being able to offer another insult. However, each insult must be one not previously used by either contestant.

If one of the contestants gives a loser answer he loses the chance to offer a new insult. This is how you can tell you're winning. You can give another insult without having to answer one in return. Trip up your opponent enough times and Guybrush wins the contest.

Click here for a list of the insults and their proper answers:



ACT I
THINGS TO DO ON MELEE ISLAND WHEN YOU'RE DEAD

PIRATE ATTACK

1. Pirates attack Guybrush and Elaine as they return from their honeymoon. Guybrush finds himself lashed to the mainmast.

2. Turn Guybrush and use the »U« key to kick over the brazier of hot coals then »P« to pick one up. Kick the hot coal to the loaded cannon on the right side of the screen.

3. As Elaine leaves to go to the courthouse, she gives Guybrush instructions to stop the catapult and then get to her lawyers on Lucre Island.



MELEE ISLAND

STOP THE CATAPULT
1. Talk to the pirate operating the catapult. Notice that the funny-looking cactus to the right of the mansion resembles a slingshot without the sling.

2. Go South through the arch and walk to Melee Town.

3. Continue East to another screen and enter the SCUMM Bar.

4. Walk to the back of the bar. In the right rear corner is a drunk with a birthday balloon and a bowl of jerky pretzels on his table. Guybrush needs the pretzels but the drunk prevents him from taking them. Look at the balloon so you can mention it to the dart players later.

5. Go back to the front of the bar and talk to the dart players. Ask them about the holes in the wall around the dartboard so they will offer to show you their skill. Bet them that they can't hit the balloon. When they do, go to the drunk's table and pick up the bowl of jerky pretzels and put them in inventory. Be careful not to eat the pretzels instead of putting them away.

6. Leave the SCUMM bar, go east and Walk To Melee Island to bring up the map. Go SW to the Harbor. Talk to the Lady of Leisure, the Harbor Mistress, and discover you don't have authority to get a ship. Pick up the popped inner tube from the ground by the grog machine.

7. Go back to the Governor's Mansion and use the popped inner tube on the cactus that looks like a slingshot to really make it a slingshot.

8. Give the jerky pretzels to the pirate operating the catapult. When the pirate leaves to eat the pretzels, tinker with the catapult controls.

9. After the catapult is destroyed watch the cut scene with Elaine and Charles L. Charles, the candidate who will be running for governor against Elaine. Follow Elaine into the mansion.

GETTING A CREW
1. Go to the table by Elaine, pick up the government job contract form and give it to her. After she signs it talk to her and mention that Guybrush is having a little trouble getting a ship without authority to requisition one. She will give Guybrush the Gubernatorial Symbol.

2. Go to the east side of the room and get the government paper from the china cabinet. If you walk away from the cabinet and look at the contract before putting it in inventory, you'll discover it's a Melee Government Employment Contract - Cushy Edition. Give it to Elaine to have it signed.

3. Return to Melee Town and talk to the two familiar looking pirates near the bookstore again. After you get Guybrush to recognize them as Carla, the Swordmaster of Melee Island, and Otis, keep after them to join the crew. Offer them cushy government jobs and when Carla says they want contracts, give them the signed cushy government contract. They agree to join the crew.

4. Go to the SCUMM Bar and talk to the Crusty Sailor, Ignatius Cheese, at the table next to the drunk's. Ignatius is the owner of the SCUMM bar as well as the navigator Guybrush needs for his crew. Soak up all the local color you can stand then get him to join the crew by challenging and beating him at a game of insult arm wrestling. For a shortcut through the dialogue pick sentences 1,3,1,1,2,1,1. To win the arm wrestling, see the section titled »Participating in Insult Sports« at the beginning of the walkthrough.

5. After winning the insult arm wrestling, return to the Harbor and use the Gubernatorial Symbol on the Harbor Mistress. She gives you a ship, The Dainty Lady. The crew arrives and Guybrush is off to Lucre Island »in search of high adventure and a legally binding restraining order.«



LUCRE ISLAND

LAW OFFICE
1. Go NE and climb the stairs. If you try to enter the Bait Shoppe Guybrush suggests you go to the Law Office first. So, go west between the Town Square and the Hall of Justice, turn west again and you will be in front of the Law Office of W.T.D.

2. The lawyers give Guybrush a copy of Grandpa Marley's will. There is a safe deposit chest in the Lucre Bank that contains the deed to the Governor's Mansion and the »most terrifying secret of the Caribbean, the ultimate insult.« Talk to the lawyers again and they tell Guybrush to get the deed. If you go through all the dialogue you can hear some cute lawyer jokes.

THE ROBBERY AND DISCOVERING THE ROBBER'S IDENTITY
1. Leave the office and go next door to the bank. Before you go inside, notice the window on the top floor is open. Inside the bank you see Ozzie, the Bad Guy, having trouble cashing an Australian traveler's check. When he snaps his cane and leaves, talk to the Bank Teller, Brittany. Go through the dialogue and tell her you want to get the deposit chest.

2. While Guybrush is in the vault a masked man posing as Guybrush robs the bank. He comes into the vault, confronts Guybrush, and takes off the mask. Notice he has either a little or no nose. He then takes the chest and locks Guybrush in the vault.

3. Once Guybrush is alone in the vault:

Pick up the old sword and the medium sea sponge from the table.
Pick up the large sea sponge from the floor behind the table.
Look in the cubicle in the wall where the safe-deposit chest was stored. Take the music box and the bottle of fine grog.
Pick up the handkerchief from the floor in front of the door.
Pick up the small sea sponge that is under the handkerchief.

4. Now:

Use the old sword on the bottom hinge of the door.
Use the broken sword with the crack.
Use all three sea sponges on the crack.
Use the bottle of fine grog with the sponge-filled crack.

5. In the confusion that follows the opening of the vault door, Guybrush is arrested for the robbery and taken to jail. He now has the »Voodoo Anklet of Extreme Discomfort« on his ankle, so he can't leave Lucre Island, and must clear himself of the false charges.

6. Go to the Iron Maiden and pick up the tin of chicken grease. Talk to the pirate in the cell. It's Otis. He's been arrested for picking flowers somewhere.

7. Talk to Inspector Canard. Guybrush discovers that the real bandit is probably Pegnose Pete and to clear himself he must: catch the real perpetrator, recover the loot, and come up with evidence to back his story up.

8. Return to the bank. The manager is standing outside. Talk to him. Guybrush finds that the bank is closed because it's the scene of a crime and the manager won't allow anyone inside. Take the hint about the open window to heart. That will be the way in, but how?

9. Go to the side of the bank and look at the manhole. Use the broken sword on the manhole. Look at the manhole cover. Write down what is scratched inside: »Mindy loves Fred - Larry loves Mindy.« These names may be different for different games and you'll need to know them later.

10. Since the robber has no nose, perhaps he's gotten a false one from the Palace of Prostheses. Go west to the Palace of Prostheses and talk to the guy with two eyepatches. You find out he's named Deadeye Dave and has a keen sense of smell and can identify customers by their scent. Use the handkerchief the robber left in the vault on Deadeye and discover Deadeye's nose is stuffed up. The smell will have to be amplified somehow.

11. Now use the handkerchief with Guybrush and you discover:

It is monogrammed with the initials »PP«
It smells of hickory smoked fish
It smells of flowers growing in a cesspool
It smells of fish snot
It smells like a corpse floating in a bog
It smells like a lumberjack wiped his arm pits with it
It has the faintest wiff of something nice

These are the scents Guybrush must reproduce for Dave to identify the name Pegnose has been using at the shop.

12. Asking about the no-nose pirate draws a blank but you also discover that even if Dave had a name he couldn't get the records from the filing system because Pongo, the trained monkey that operates the filing system, has run off.

13. Tell Dave you're looking for some gifts - free ones. When Deadeye tells you the story use the names you found on the manhole cover as answers. Answer correctly and Deadeye will give you Prosthetic Skin.

14. Play the music box for Deadeye Dave. Before it stops playing go to the window and steal the wooden prosthetic hand from the first basket on the left. You must be quick. If the music stops before you get the hand, Deadeye will hear you and prevent you from stealing the hand.

15. Return to the manhole outside the bank. Use the Prosthetic Skin with the manhole then use the skin stretched over the manhole. Guybrush will bounce through the open window into the bank.

16. Go down the ladder and use the pull-chain. When the lights go on, face west and notice the strange nose-shaped shadow cast upon the wall at the end of the balcony.

17. Go to the desk in the lower left corner and pick up the ScupperWare.

18. Climb the ladder, walk around the balcony and look at the strange shadow. Guybrush finds a prosthetic nose. Inspector Canard arrives and takes the nose as evidence.

19. Exit through the window. Go east from the bank to the scene with the town square then east from there to the House of Sticks.

20. Ozzie enters the House of Sticks right after Guybrush and picks up a new stick to replace the one he broke in the bank. Pick up the wood shavings left behind from Ozzie's stick. Talk to Freddie and find out: Pegnose is the greatest pirate thief on Lucre Island, probably lives in the marsh, and is afraid of ducks. Supposedly a duck pecked his nose off.

DUPLICATING THE SCENT
1. Leave the House of Sticks and go west to the perfume stand. Pick up the cologne from the counter. Talk to the annoying perfume pusher, Hugo. You learn, among other things, that Hugo saw Pegnose run by heading towards the deepest forests of Lucre Island. Pick up an empty spritzer bottle from the pile near the edge of the building. Use the empty spritzer bottle with the wood shavings to make homemade perfume (Cedar Cologne).

2. Leave the perfume stand and go east to the Bait Shoppe. Pick up the duck that's walking around in front of the Bait Shoppe. Go inside and talk to the Salty Old Cur and hear his version of how Pegnose lost his nose (school of fish bit it off), and that Pegnose probably lives in the marsh and no one can navigate the marsh.

3. Go to the free bait cabinet and use the homemade perfume on the free bait. Pick up the free bait. Go into inventory and combine the free bait with the ScupperWare.

4. Use the wooden prosthetic hand with the termite circus that's to the right of the free bait cabinet.

5. Go west to the Law Office and leave town through the gateway under the arch that's between the Law Office and Lucre Bank.

6. Go north to the Mystes O' Tyme marsh. Notice the raft and the puddle. Use the homemade perfume with the puddle then leave the swamp.

7. Go west to the foreboding mansion, Ozzie's place. Pick the flower by the fountain and combine the flower with the homemade perfume.

8. Enter the creepy mansion and begin a conversation with Ozzie. End the conversation soon as you can and spray the stuffed platypus at Ozzie's feet with the cologne (not the homemade perfume). Ozzie gets angry - »You've befouled my platypus- breaks his cane and stomps off to order a new one.

9. Return to town to the House of Sticks and use the termite-infested prosthetic hand on Ozzie's new cane. It's in the rack to the right of the entrance. Ozzie then comes in, picks up his new cane and leaves, dribbling a trail of sawdust behind him. You'll need this trail later to follow Ozzie.

FINDING AND CATCHING PEGNOSE
1. Go back to Deadeye Dave in the Palace of Prostheses. Spray him with the homemade perfume. Make a note of the name he tells you. Ours was »Yahootie P. Everywhere.« Yours will probably be different. Guybrush must now operate the filing system and retrieve this card to get the directions through the marsh.

2. Twiddle with the file retrieval system controls and look at the three dials. Don't touch anything yet. Each dial has five faces with a picture on each face. Each face stands for a group of letters.

Face 1 (bunny) = A-D
Face 2 (palm tree) = E-H
Face 3 (pumpkin) = I-M
Face 4 (monkey) = N-S
Face 5 (bananas) = T-Z

3. You must spin the dials so the three faces on top show the letter groups in which the three initials of the name Guybrush was given are contained. Then you must press the red button right of the dials to retrieve the file.

4. In our case the initials are »YPE«. All dials start out with face 1 on top. The first dial is spun so face 5 (bananas) is on top. The second dial is spun to face 4 (monkey) and the third dial to face 2 (palm tree). The red button is pressed and Guybrush gets a document containing the directions to Pegnose Pete's house. Remember, the name you were given will probably be different, therefore you'll have to spin the dials based on the three initials of your name - not the initials used here as an example.

5. The directions written on the card will be two columns of numbers, one a time, the other a direction, in the form of »12:10 E« or »12:15 W«. There will be eight entries. Write the directions down. They are randomly generated each time the game is played. Yours will be different than mine. The directions will be needed to get through the marsh later. The file will be in Guybrush's inventory, of course, and can be looked at anytime, but they're easier to use written down since you won't be switching in and out of inventory each time a direction is needed.

6. Go to the center of town and talk to Brittany. She's standing in front of the fountain. There's no point in it but it's slightly funny. Leave Brittany and go East to the Bait Shoppe then South to the docks. Once on the docks go to the far west end and you'll find two pirates playing chess.

7. To get through the marsh Guybrush needs the timer the chess players are using. They won't let you take the clock so Guybrush must distract them both. Talk to the portly pirate chess player. Start the conversation with any sentence, then use number 5 then number 4. The number 4 sentence will always distract the pirate from the game. If he's distracted enough, the pirate will let go of his chess piece and his partner will force him to use it as a move. You may have to use sentence 4 to distract the pirate several times before he actually lets go of the piece.

8. Once the portly pirate has been distracted talk to his partner, the skinny pirate. Open the conversation with any sentence then distract him with sentence 4 (something about Brittany). Distract the skinny pirate until he drops his piece and the portly pirate forces him to use that as a move. Both pirates begin throwing chess pieces and calling each other names. When you get control of Guybrush, take the clock.

9. Go back through town and exit through the archway between the bank and the law office. Go to the marsh, use the raft, then use the clock. Now it can get confusing so you should probably save the game here.

10. The clock face appears on the lower right of your screen. Look at the time the clock face displays. Look at the directions you found on the file you got from Deadeye Dave. Find the time listed in the directions that corresponds to the time on the clock face and move the raft off the screen in the direction printed next to the time.

11. Each time you enter a new screen, check the time and move off screen in the direction corresponding to the new time. Continue in this way until you get to a gate where there's a Guybrush double, a future Guybrush.

12. Move to the gate and Guybrush will give you a key. Ask him who he is. Write down the answer he gives (different each time). He then gives you two items. These are also different each time. Note what they are so you can find them in inventory later.

13. Choose »Open gate« then talk to him. Write down the number he gives you then unlock the gate with the skeleton key that you should now have in inventory. Before you move through the gate Guybrush will give you a third item. The three items are usually the same; a rope, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle, and a gun. However, the order in which they're given is different each time.

14. Go through the gate and continue following instructions until you come to the gate again. Give Guybrush the key, answer his question with the answer he gave you earlier (the question was »Who are you?«). Now give him the first two objects he gave you in the order they were given. You can find them in inventory already in the correct order. He then asks you for a number. Answer with the number he gave you earlier. If all is done correctly a little scene runs and you're left alone in the mist standing on the raft. Continue following the directions given by the clock until you get to the house of Pegnose.

15. Walk up the pier to the house and trigger the scene of Guybrush eavesdropping on a conversation between Pegnose and Ozzie.

16. Use the chicken grease on the doormat then use the duck on the window. Voila! Pegnose is captured.

FINDING THE LOOT FROM THE BANK
1. Meanwhile, back at the jail, Guybrush isn't entirely cleared even though he has captured Pegnose. It's off to confront Ozzie. Go west from the jail and exit town. Take the trail to Ozzie's mansion and go inside.

2. Accuse him of hiring Pegnose to frame Guybrush for the robbery. When Ozzie asks what Pegnose's Booty Showcase looks like say it has »Lots of booty.«

3. When Ozzie leaves follow him into the forest. You can keep up by following the sawdust trail the termites in his cane leave behind.

4. Go East then North around behind the little hill from which Ozzie came and climb down the hidden passage into the booty showroom.

5. Look around the showroom. Use the red button on the edge of the dining table to draw back the curtain from the unbreakable window. Behind the window are the bank booty and the Marley heirlooms.

6. Go back up the ladder and dive into the deep water north of the hill.

7. Get the ScupperWare ready and open it when the bioluminescent fish swim by. Once a fish is trapped inside the ScupperWare, Guybrush has a handy lantern.

8. Go west through the secret entrance and find the heirlooms and treasure on a little island. Pick up the heirlooms and treasure as well as the itty-bitty brass screw that falls from the chest.

9. Leave the cave and walk up the east side of the next screen to get to shore. Go around the hill to the West and return to Melee Town and the Hall of Justice.

10. Show the brass screw to Inspector Canard. Guybrush is cleared, he collects his crew and heads back to Melee Island.



ACT II
ENTER THE MANATEE

MELEE ISLAND AGAIN

THE BLUE PAINTING
1. Talk to Elaine after the animation runs. Elaine decides that she should take care of LeChuck, Guybrush should take care of Ozzie Mandrill and the Ultimate Insult. Guybrush should start by talking to the voodoo Lady.

2. Leave the mansion, go to Melee Town and into the International House of Mojo.

3. Go to the hand-shaped table and pull the finger next to the thumb (it's just identified as »finger« in the dialog). The mirror on the east side of the room will spin around and the Voodoo Lady will appear.

4. Ask the Voodoo Lady everything you can about the Ultimate Insult then about the Marley heirlooms. Lastly, ask what Guybrush is supposed to do with the wedding presents.

5. Go east through town and exit to Meelee Island. Notice the SCUMM Bar has been renamed the LUA Bar. Take the trail north to Meathook's House of Wax.

6. Disturb Meathook at is work then deny the rumors of Guybrush's death. Ask about the candles then exit the conversation. Take a paintbrush from the bucket Meathook showed you then leave.

7. Take the trail to the harbor. Check out the coin return slot of the grog machine. Take the quarter and use it in the machine. Now kick, punch, shake and yell at the machine. Take a can of grog from the pile that falls out.

8. Return to Melee Town and enter the LUA Bar. Go to the rear of the bar to where the little ships are floating in channels. Talk to the patron then return to the lower level and sit at an empty stool.

9. Talk to the waitress then order something to eat; something cooked. You'll get the flaming scuttlefish. Get the paintbrush out of inventory and get ready. When the flaming boat comes down the channel, jam the paintbrush in the sushi boat propulsion mechanism. You should time it so the flaming boat stops just under the picture on the wall after the boat has turned the corner and is on its way back to the kitchen. When the cook comes out to investigate, run into the kitchen and use the can of grog on the sushi boat steam generator. If you've stopped the boat in the correct position you'll see an animation and be presented with the ruined »blue picture«--a map of the tri-island area. If you were unsuccessful the cook catches you in the kitchen and throws you out. Try again. The cook leaves the paintbrush on the bar near the stool and you have enough grog for one more try. If you fail the second time, you'll have to return to the harbor for another can of grog.

10. Look at the picture in inventory by using the »L« key. On the back of the painting is a depiction of the the parts that make up the Ultimate Insult. It's made up of:

a silver monkey head
a bronze hat
a golden man

11. After you get the picture go back to the docks and walk to the Dainty Lady. Look at the figurehead. Pierced ears? Is that enough clue for you? Use the earrings, necklace, pen, and painting on the figurehead in that order.

12. After the animation involving the figurehead, Elaine comes and reclaims the Gubernatorial Symbol. The crew is now off to Jambalaya Island.



JAMBALAYA ISLAND

PIRATE TRANSMOGRIFICATION ACADEMY
1.Use the community rowboat and go east to Knuttin Atoll. End the conversation with Admiral Casaba quickly as you can and leave. Land at the pirate shantytown on the southern coast of the atoll.

2. Go north to the big blue and white Pirate Transmogrification Academy. Talk to the teacher and get Guybrush enrolled.

3. When the final exam arrives give the most piratey answers available to the three questions so Guybrush will fail the course.

4. Once back on the doorstep, and in possession of the dunce cap, use the fire alarm on the right side of the building. When Miss Rivers leaves, run inside and get the whistle from the toy chest before she returns. It may be difficult to get Guybrush to see the whistle. You may have to pick up a Pirate Trading Card first. I didn't, but you might. If you fail to find the card before Miss Rivers returns, you can always use the fire alarm again.

5. Go to the center of the atoll and visit the puppet theater. There you can talk to Hellbeard, the last pirate to be victim of the Ultimate Insult. Keep going through the dialog until you can talk to the little Guybrush puppet, then to the puppeteer.

6. End the conversation with the puppeteer (Hellbeard) and quickly use the blue painting on him before he ducks back down behind the curtain. After he runs away, pick up both the puppets.

7. Return to the rowboat and go back to Jambalaya Island.

STARBUCANEER'S
1. Walk left from the ship, go up the stairs and into town.

2. Go to Starbucaneer's. It's the big building in the bottom center. Go to the window and look at the empty groggoccino cup. Go inside, turn to Guybrush's left and get the empty cup from the plants in the planter.

3. Stand near the tourist lady in the center of the room and look into her bag. Take the StarBuccaneer's logo mug.

4. Visit the counter and use the empty groggoccino cup (from the window) on the clerk to get a free refill.

5. At the west end of the counter is a tray of mini-bagels with Schmear Whiz on them. Take one. They're free.

6. Eat the bagel (horrible!) and put the remains in inventory. Leave the shop.

STAN'S TIME SHARE
1. Head north for the stairs and leave town. Follow the trail SE to the Stan's Time Share.

2. Get a pamphlet from the stack of pamphlets on the desk.

3. Take the jar of glue from under the window that's left of the door to the house.

4. Stand in front of the desk and prepare to talk to Stan. Drink the cup of groggoccino then talk to Stan. Ask about real estate until you're offered the choices of »Gimme the pitch!« or »I'm not interested.« Choose the pitch. When it's done you get a Planet Threepwood coupon. Without the groggoccino, Guybrush falls asleep during the pitch and doesn't get the coupon.

SILVER MONKEY HEAD
1. Go back to town and run a few errands. Get the empty groggoccino cut refilled at Starbucaneers.

2. Go to the center of town to the statue of Tiny LaFeet. Compliment the tourist there on his ensemble then ask him what he's doing. Find out all you can about Tiny LaFeet. Notice the hat's been taken from the statue.

3. Go to the micro-groggery and talk to the bartender. Ask for a drink and he gives you a mug of Grog Jr.--just enough alcohol to »stun a skinny parrot.« You can also talk to Carla and ride the mechaical manatee, neither of which is required.

4. Go inside Planet Threepwood and read the specials from the board near the door. Enter the restaurant section, go to the rear and talk to the waitress. Order some food and when she asks how you'll pay, choose the Mega Monkey Meal Ticket.

5. While you're sitting with your free Monkey Mug, talk to the Jolly Pirate and get a free Pirate Caricature. Answer anything you like to the questions he asks Guybrush during the drawing. The object is only to get the caricature.

6. Combine the caricature with the glue then the glued caricature with the StarBuccaneer's Logo Mug to make a fake Monkey Mug. Use the fake Monkey Mug with the Monkey Mug and you have the Silver Monkey Head.

THE GOLDEN MAN
1. Leave town to the map of the island and go SW to the tall rock.

2. Talk to the diver, Marco DePollo, until you can ask about joining the competition then have Guybrush say he would like to dive against Marco. When Marco tells Guybrush to go to the judges and get certified end the conversation.

3. Face the table and use the juicy wad of chewed up bagel chunks and Schmear Whiz with the baby seal oil. Go north from Marco and turn west. Follow the boardwalk to the judges.

4. There are three judges: the hippie judge, the grouchy judge and the wise old judge. Have Guybrush tell them he wants to compete. He gets a physical and is certified.

5. When Guybrush is certified, send him back to tell Marco. Marco dives then you gain control of Guybrush at the end of the plank. Just run him off the end.

6. Guybrush gets low scores and Marco wins. Talk to the grouchy judge and ask him why he is giving you such low scores. After he says he's paid to make sure Marco wins, examine the pamphlet you got from Stan's timeshares. My, my! Use the pamphlet on the grouchy judge. Next time he'll judge more fairly.

7. Ask the hippie judge what was wrong with the last dive. He tells you there are four types of dives:

Keelhaul - done by pressing the up arrow key
Rum Barrel - done by pressing the down arrow key
Spinning Swordsman - done by pressing the right arrow key
Alpha Monkey - done by pressing the left arrow key

Guybrush must watch what Marco does and match his dive combination. Go back and tell Marco you want to compete again.

8. Watch what combination Marco does and match it. For instance if he does an Alpha Monkey, Spinning Swordsman, Alpha Monkey combination you must duplicate it. Have Guybrush put on the dunce cap you got from the academy to satisfy the middle judge. Move Guybrush along the plank until he starts moving by himself then quickly enter the arrow key combination that will duplicate Marco's combination. In our example here it would be: left arrow, right arrow, left arrow. If you use the arrow keys on the numeric pad, make sure numlock is off. If Guybrush is successful, he will tie Marco.

9. The tiebreaker dive is easy. Guybrush goes first and Marco has to match Guybrush's moves. Just make up a combination. Guybrush will win. After all, he did sabotage Marco's seal oil.

THE BRONZE HAT
1. Return to the dock and use the community rowboat and go east to Knuttin Atoll. Land at the pirate shantytown on the southern coast of the atoll.

2. Walk east along the beach. Talk to the pirate with two parrots. -Ask about the parrots and find out one always lies, one always tells the truth. -Tell him he's awfully large and ask if he's any relation to Tiny LaFeet.

Ask more about his father, especially about the »friendly« part.
Ask what happened to Tiny's statue.

3. Now Guybrush knows Tiny's hat was buried under a boulder on the beach, but under which one? Walk east into the boulder field.

4. Guybrush can use the parrots to help him. Use the whistle you got from the academy and the parrots come and land on the boulder in front of Guybrush. Use the groggoccino on one parrot and the wimpy grog on the other. Notice each parrot is now sort of dancing, one fast, one slow. This is how you will be able to tell them apart.

5 Ask each parrot the same question, what's two plus two? The one that answers correctly is the truth telling parrot. From now on only talk to the truthful parrot.

6. Ask him if he's sitting on the rock under which the hat is buried. If he says, »no«, then ask, »Which way should I go to find Tiny's hat?« Follow the directions to the next screen. Blow the whistle to call the birds then question the truthful bird again. Continue in this fashion until you've found the hat. Make sure you're always talking to the truthful parrot. They will switch positions to confuse you.

7. Well, here the game slows to an absolute crawl. It took seven tries to find the correct boulder. When the correct boulder is found, use the two puppets. Use any of the sentences available. The purpose is to get »three« pirates together so Admiral Casaba will shoot at them with his cannon thereby shattering the boulder enabling Guybrush to get the hat.

8. In the following animation, more of the plot is revealed and Guybrush is relieved of the pieces of the Ultimate Insult.



ACT III
ESCAPE FROM MONKEY ISLAND

MONKEY ISLAND

THE MILK BOTTLE
1. After the animation walk south along the beach to bring up the map of Monkey Island. Guybrush will be on the lower left portion of the map. He's kind of hard to see.

2. Go north on the map just a little ways and you'll find a lean-to and a pirate, Herman Toothrot.

3. Pick up the coconut by the lean-to then talk to Herman. Go through the dialog then throw the coconut at him. This restores part of his memory. Ask again what's the first thing he remembers. If you get a story about the amusement park and dormant volcano, you can end the conversation and go back the way you came.

4. Hike north and east to the canyon. You'll find a cactus on the right edge of the screen. Get the banana picker that's leaning against it. Ignore the mine entrance for now. Guybrush will go there towards the end of the game.

5. Return to the map and head NW to the lava fields. When you arrive you see the mischievous Timmy throw the milk bottle you're after out onto an island in the lava stream. Notice the castle above the lava flow.

6. Exit this screen back to the map. Just east of the lava field is a trail going up a ramp that leads to the castle. If you put Guybrush properly upon the path he'll climb and you'll get a screen showing the castle, called a cathedral on this screen.

7. Enter the cathedral. Turn around and face the door until you see »Look at shields.« Use the banana picker to get the two tiny shields that serve as eyes for the skull.

8. Go south over the bridge and talk to Father Allegro Rasputin. Go through the dialog and keep asking about the lava until you can ask to try the lava plunge. Permission will be refused at first, but keep after it and Guybrush will succeed.

9. Soon as you can, get the banana picker out of inventory and steer the boat with the arrow keys. Your goal is to go past the island near the top of the screen and snag the milk bottle with the picker as you go by. You navigate the channels and knock the logs against each other until you can enter the channel that goes past the island with the milk bottle. When you do it correctly you'll get a close-up view that allows you to use the banana picker easily.

10. Exit the lava puzzle by going under the bridge at the left side of the screen. Go back to Herman and hit him with the milk bottle and ask him what's the earliest thing he remembers now. It turns out to be an accordion.

THE ACCORDION
1. Go to Vista Point. It's the hill on the west side of the island. On the top you get a view that looks sort of looks like one of those ant farms in a glass case. There are three canals. Go to the pile of rocks and pick one up. Throw the rock at the canal on the right side of the cliff and watch what it happens. Notice that somewhere along its path it passes a root that wiggles. After what seems like a long time with nothing happening, you see the boulder shoot out of a hole and land near the mine. Drop rocks down the other two channels to see what happens.

2. OK, here's the drill: -Throw a rock down the right-hand channel, when it reaches the root -Throw a rock down the middle channel, when it reaches the root -Throw a rock down the left channel, when it reaches a root -Throw another rock down the left channel.

3. At the bottom of the screen are three exits for the rocks. By using the passage of the rocks past the roots, you can gauge when to throw the succeeding rocks. The rolling of the rocks must be timed so that two of them collide at the intersection of the three exits. Two rocks must go down the center exit and one rock each down the left and right exits. If done correctly you see a scene of a rock landing in the lava field. Don't give up, it's tedious work but it can be done.

4. Go back to the cathedral and ask to do the lava ride again. This time steer the boat into the little lava pool by the bridge and get out.

5. Climb up to the left and use the palm tree. Guybrush will kick it over and make a bridge across the lava flow. Go back to the lava pool then go east over the bridge.

6. Head east then north to Monkey Town. A monkey guards the intersection leading to the town. You must wait until he's out of the way, heading east, then run through the intersection and up the path toward town. If the monkey catches you, you get stuck in a clearing with only one way to go, back to the island map. Then you'll have to try again.

7. Once in the village talk to JoJo Jr., the monkey sitting on the barrel. Go through the entire dialog tree and learn about the Hat of Honor and Monkey Kombat. Don't challenge the talking monkey to combat yet. That will be done later.

8. Go a little west to the hut. The monkey sitting in the doorway on the middle level has the accordion. Get the shields from inventory and pick »use shields.« The monkey will come down and exchange the accordion for the shields (cymbals).

SECOND GUBERNATORIAL SYMBOL
1. Return to Herman by going over the bridge at the lava pit then over the palm tree. Hit him with the accordion. You hear the story of how Ozzie found the Caribbean and discover that Herman is actually Grandpa Marley.

2. Keep talking to Grandpa Marley until he gives Guybrush the second Gubernatorial Symbol.

MONKEY KOMBAT
1. Now we're ready for Monkey Kombat. This part of the game can be very frustrating and at first look seems almost impossible. However, stay with it and you will persevere. Monkey Kombat includes the following basics:

The Five Stances:

Anxious Ape (AA)
Bobbing Baboon (BB)
Charging Chimp (CC)
Drunken Monkey (DM)
Gimpy Gibbon (GG)

Each stance will defeat two other stances. F'rinstance, AA may defeat DM and GG. I say may, because what beats what is determined each time a game is started from scratch. The rules do NOT change between individual combats.

2. The Four Monkey Insults:

Ack (A)
Eek (E)
Oop (O)
Chee (C)

3. To change your present stance, or move from one pose to another, to attain a stance superior to the opponent's, and thereby win, you utter three insults. Choosing Ack, Eek, Oop might change your stance from Drunken Monkey to Charging Chimp. However, it's a little more complicated than that.

4. What combination of insults produces what stance is also randomly generated at the start of the game. Plus, you have to take into account what stance you are moving from. If you are presently in the Drunken Monkey stance and you want to change to Anxious Ape, you might use ACE. However, if you're in the Gimpy Gibbon stance and use ACE, you might change to the Bobbing Baboon stance. The insult combinations also work in reverse. If ACE changes you from Drunken Monkey to Anxious Ape, it will also change you from Anxious Ape to Drunken Monkey.

How Combat Works
1. Each opponent has a health bar made up of banana symbols. Lower your opponent's health to zero and you win. The present stance is also listed near each opponent.

2. In the lower right hand corner of the screen, under Guybrush, is a compass-like symbol representing the arrow keys on the keyboard. The four directions are labeled Ack, Oop, Eek, Chee, the four monkey insults. An insult is said by pressing the arrow key corresponding to the insult. For example, pressing the up arrow will force Guybrush to say, »Ack.« Press the left arrow key and he will say, »Chee.« Pressing three keys in succession will string together three insults and Guybrush will change his stance to match the insult string. You will then see the results of the stance change, win or loose.

3. Turns are alternating, usually with the monkey going first. During the monkey's turn the insult compass will be turned off. It will be on when it's Guybrush's turn. So, a match may go like this: The stance the monkey is using is listed above his head. He says three insults which change his stance to counter that of Guybrush. The monkey's stance changes and you see what stance he changed to plus whether or not it defeats Guybrush's stance. The insult compass is activated for Guybrush's turn. Notice the stances of the opponents. If the monkey is assuming the Drunken Monkey stance and Guybrush is holding the Gimpy Gibbon stance, you must utter the three curses that moves Guybrush from the Gimpy Gibbon stance to one that will defeat the Drunken Monkey stance. Tap out the three insults with the arrow keys and you will see the results.

4. Once in awhile a foul will be declared. Other than being for an invalid combination of curses, I've never been able to figure out the exact reasons. A few times I've used curses that worked previously only to have them declared foul. It's not game stopping, but it does sometimes tip the balance to your opponent. You'll just have to work through it.

Practice Combat
1. Before you're ready to challenge JoJo for his hat, you should practice with other monkeys. You can find these monkeys on the map of Monkey Island near the intersection of the east-west trail with the trail that leads to Monkey Town. Walk up to the monkeys on the map and the scene will change to a clearing. Talk to the monkey and Kombat is automatically started.

2. You should make two charts. The first should show what other two stances a single stance beats, like DM defeats AA and GG, CC beats BB and DM. Do this for all five stances and you'll have a listing of what each stance will beat.

3. The second chart should be of the insults and what stance they change to and from. For instance you might list: CC to DM = AOC, which means that to move from the Charging Chimp stance to the Drunken Monkey stance, use the insults Ack, Oop, Chee. So, if during Kombat Guybrush is in the Charging Chimp stance and his opponent is in the Drunken Monkey stance, you would look in the first chart to find out what stances defeat Drunken Monkey. Then you would look in the chart of curses to see what curses are used to move from the Charging Chimp stance to whatever stance defeats the Drunken Monkey.

4. That's really it. Challenge the monkeys and write down the results of various moves. It's a good idea to enable the option that displays text as well as voice. Some of the monkey sounds are difficult to understand. As things progress fairly rapidly, liberal use of the space bar (pause key) can be helpful. When you think you have enough moves mapped to defeat JoJo go challenge him.

5. To get back to JoJo you must avoid the monkeys at the intersection. If they come near Guybrush the game will want to do Monkey Kombat instead of allowing passage into Monkey Town.

GIANT MONKEY ROBOT
1. After you defeat JoJo and get the hat, leave Monkey Town. Return to the map then go all the way back to the beach. Use the banana picker on the bananas until there are no more, about three times. Give one to Timmy so he will follow you.

2. Hike to the canyon and enter the mine. Make sure Timmy goes into the mine with Guybrush. You might have to bribe him with another banana. Go all the way to the end of the tracks to the big metal door.

3. Use the vent to open it. Use a banana with the vent. Guybrush throws a banana in the vent and Timmy goes after it. Close the vent then use a banana with the portal and Timmy will open the door.

4. Once in side the big tube, you can see a weed whipper. Use the banana picket to get it.

5. Leave the mine and go to the pool of lava in the lava field. Cross over the palm tree bridge and go down to the pool. Use the weed whipper on the patch of weeds. Lava is released into the mine. It flows into the big tube and powers up the machinery.

6. Cross the stone bridge over the half-empty lava pit and follow the trail east to the big monkey head.

7. Use the bronze hat with the monkey head. Guybrush will throw the hat on top of the monkey head.

8. Use the banana picker with the monkey nose to open the mouth. Go through the mouth and into the control room. It seems the monkey head is a gigantic robot.

9. Go to the left center of the central console and Guybrush should see a »prominent slot.« Use the Gubernatorial Symbol with the slot, the giant monkey robot is activated, Guybrush is joined by a couple companions, and they're off.



ACT III+
GUYBRUSH KICKS UNUSUALLY LARGE BUTT

MELEE ISLAND

1. Pick up the really big plank on the ground to the right of the smallest tower.

2. Use the really big plank with the shortest tower. Climb the tower then jump on really big plank.

3. When you get to the top of the tallest tower use the excessively large switch.

4. In the final contest between the giant LeChuck and the giant Monkey Robot, use the Monkey Kombat techniques you learned. You can't defeat LeChuck by winning, you must tie him three times in succession.

5. Happy gaming!



The list of the insults and their proper answers:

INSULT
RESPONSE
Today, by myself, twelve people I've beaten.
From the size of your gut, I'd guess they were eaten.
I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of.
It's too bad none of them are in your arms.
Give up now, or I'll crush you like a grape.
I would if it would stop your WINE-ing.
My ninety-eight-year-old grandmother has bigger arms than you.
Yeah, but we've both got better bladder control than you.

I'm going to put your arm in a sling.
Why, are you studying to be a Nurse?
My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces.
I'm surprised you can count that high.

Hey, look over there!
Yeah, yeah, I know: It's a three- Headed monkey.
Your knuckles I'll grind to a splintery paste.
I thought the bean dip had a strange taste.
Your arms are no bigger than fleas that I've met.
So that's why you're scratching. I'd go see a vet.
People consider my fists lethal weapons.
Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned.
Only once have I met such a coward.
He must have taught you every thing you know.
You're the ugliest creature I've seen in my life.
I'm shocked that you never have gazed at your wife.
My forearms have been mistaken for tree trunks.
An over-the-counter defoliant could help with that problem.
I've out-wrestled Octopi with these arms.
I'm sure that spineless creatures everywhere are humbled by your might.
Do I see quivers of agony dance on your lip?
It's laugher that's caused by your feathery grip.



Here is a list of losing insults and answers:

LOSER INSULT
LOSER RESPONSE
You're a big poopy head!
Oh, yeah?
You suck!
NOT
Dummy!
I am rubber, you are glue...
You're not very nice!
I'm shakin'! I'm shakin'!
I don't want to play anymore.
Shyea! How appropriate. You fight like a cow.


Escape From Monkey Island Walkthrough © 2000 by Jim Blanchard
Contact: Webmaster@CanOfWorms.com

All original material including names and images © by
Lucasarts Entertainment Company LLC





elfboi schrieb am 20.3. 2003 um 03:48:07 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)


Googlism.com will find out what Google.com thinks of you, your friends or anything! Search for your name here or for a good laugh check out some of the popular Googlisms below.

»Find out what the Web says about you« - Flazoom.com

Who What Where When




Who is

What is

Where is

When is




Fire Your Boss
http://www.ezinfocenter.com Are you ready to be your own boss & finally make enough to last unt ...

The Amazon Online Book Store
http://www.inetsupermall.com Amazon - The earth's largest online book, video and music store. Buy books, ...



Googlism for: realdoll



realdoll is a trademark of abyss creations
realdoll is available exclusively from this site
realdoll is getting the money together
realdoll is hand crafted and anatomically correct
realdoll is a doll in that you can call it a rd or a mannequin but it is made of latex and silicon
realdoll is out now girls
realdoll is a thoroughly convincing silicone
realdoll is connected to because
realdoll is to sex
realdoll is leah and she is available immidiately
realdoll is a real produet
realdoll is an extremely realistic
realdoll is far from having a real gal
realdoll is a doll
realdoll is heat
realdoll is trying to move away from the seamy world of blow
realdoll is now on it's third generation that i am aware of
realdoll is much more lifelike
realdoll is the cadillac of the club
realdoll is a $5000
realdoll is an interesting read
realdoll is very
realdoll is you're stupid
realdoll is for real
realdoll is $6999
realdoll is finally in
realdoll is kinda
realdoll is that howard stern has purchased one; he claims he will be introducing his realdoll to a
realdoll is a nearly perfect replica of the human _body_
realdoll is coming very soon and will be in this room
realdoll is this $5
realdoll is finally available
realdoll is already for geeks
realdoll is a trademark
realdoll is a very high
realdoll is made of silicone
realdoll is very sturdy
realdoll is finally in production
realdoll is creepy enough
realdoll is the world's finest love doll
realdoll is torn
realdoll is in the middle
realdoll is in development
realdoll is here"
realdoll is only $5
realdoll is een site waar sexpoppen te koop worden aangeboden
realdoll is not going to help you pick her up
realdoll is here
realdoll is tame by comparison
realdoll is a woman emulator
realdoll is considered an »adult« site
realdoll is the candygirl
realdoll is the perfect wife <warewolf> '<
realdoll is for
realdoll is a frankenrealdoll
realdoll is hand crafted to exact
realdoll is cute
realdoll is more amazing still if only because they're
realdoll is hand crafted to exact specifications
realdoll is ontwikkeld door een voormalig poppenmaker voor film
realdoll is now known
realdoll is so appealing
realdoll is a company that makes disturbingly lifelike sex
realdoll is right up there
realdoll is the real deal
realdoll is kicking my ass in wc3
realdoll is sitting now
realdoll is

Travel & Transportation
Games
Chat & Dating
Entertainment & Arts

Health & Fitness
Business & Finance
Shopping & Gifts
Computers & Technology



Contact Us

About Googlism
Send to a Friend


©2003 Googlism.com - Currently 1,048,930 Googlisms

elfboi schrieb am 1.5. 2002 um 17:45:54 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)

Young barely legal virgin pussy is waiting for its first cock fuck. These wet shaven cunts need big dicks with massive hard ons.



THE BEST XXX-RATED VIRGIN PUSSY AROUND!



Welcome to XXX Virgin Pussy! You will find hundreds of the hottest virgin girls showing off their tight pink pussy here. All of the pictures on this site are 100% free thanks to our friends at 101 Virgins. If you like all of the awesome pussy shots and wet clits we have here click on any link that says 101 Virgins to see their collection of over 70,000 young babes showing off their virgin pussy!!! To view our collection of xxx virgin beaver shots you must be at least 18 years old. If you are of age click on the enter button below.

ENTER HERE FOR OUR FREE PICTURES!




This wet virgin pussy brought to you courtesy of 101Virgins.com


Movies and Live Feeds Site From the Same Company as Adult Check®!



Pregnant Nude Fotos - Nude fotos of pregnant babes with sloppy pussy.



Nude Latina Pics - Free nude pictures of the hottest Latina babes on the NET!
Virgins 90210 - Southern California hotties strip down and pose nude in free porn pics.
Spanking Virgins - Sexy virgins spanking their naughty little friends.
Teen Bikini Girls - Free pictures of sexy teens in their string bikinis and completely nude!
Pure Ass - Free pictures of sexy amateur babes showing off their tight little asses.
Teenage Virginity - Gorgeous teen vigins get naked for the first time in front of a camera and show their perky tits and tight pussy to the world.
Virgin XXX Movies - Porno movies and pictures of nasty little teen whores who love being fucked.
Virgin Teen Pink - Horny teen virgins spread their legs and show pink pussy in free porn pictures.
Jamie Naked - Sexy young amateur girl takes picturs of her tight naked body when her parents leave her home alone.
XXX Teen Fotos - Free xxx fotos of sexy teen models getting their tight pussy fucked by huge dicks.
Big Ladies Naked - Big bad biker bitches strip off their tight leather and show their big fat tits.
Teen Pussy Lips - 18 year old teen girls show their pussy lips in free nude pictures.
XXX Teen Anal - Gorgeous teen girls getting their asshole fucked hard in xxx anal sex pictures...all free!
XXX Drunk Sluts - College party girls get too drunk and start fucking everyone in sight!
Teen Vaginas - Free nude pictures of hot teen babes showing off their vaginas.
Teens Wet Pussy - Slutty teen bitches tricked into showing their wet pussy.
Virgins Naked - Gorgeous virgin girls playing around and taking naked pictures of each other.
XXX Virgin Pussy - Free xxx pictures of only the hottest vigin pussy. Tight beaver that will drive you wild!
Stock Car Pussy - Hot slutty Nascar fans pose for sexy nude pictures.
BIG BREASTED VIRGINS - Hot teen girls with big beautiful breasts!
HORNY BITCH! - Regular adult check gold site.
WET PUSSY 2010 - Regular adult check gold site.
BIKINI STRIP CONTEST - Regular adult check gold site.
HORNY TEENS FUCK - Wild teen sluts giving up their pussies!
HOMETOWN SLUTS - Everyday girls in hardcore sex pics!
CANDY STRIPPER - Regular adult check gold site.
BIG BREASTED VIRGINS - Hot teen girls with big beautiful breasts!
GIANT JUGS - Gorgeous babes with enormous tits!
SEXY GIRLS 2010 - Regular adult check gold site.
VOYEUR PHOTOS - Spy cam photos of hot young babes!
SNEAKY FUCKER - Sneaky spy cam images of hot, young girls!
TEENAGE VIRGINITY - Gorgeous teen vigins get naked for the first time in front of a camera and show their perky tits and tight pussy to the world.
TEEN GLAMOUR NUDES - Glamorous free pictures of sexy teen babes completely nude.
SLUTTY STUDENTS - Sexy nude pics of slutty students, amteur babes, and sexy teen girls.
SORORITY SISTERS FUCK - Free pics of sexy sorority sisters in threesomes, lesbian action and loving a good fuck.
XXX MARDI GRAS - Free xxx pictures taken of drunk girls found on the streets of Mardi Gras!
HORNY TEEN VIRGINS - Horny teen virgins get naked and spread wide in free nude pictures
FREE BIG BOOB PICS - Free pics of hot babes with big boobs.
APARTMENT SMUT - Sexy white trash girls pose in free naked photos.
UNFAITHFUL COUPLES - Sexy babes fucking, and couples having sex in unfaithful hardcore pics.
E PUSSY RAW - Sexy E pussy raw from huge plastic dildos in free nude pics.
PRINCESS VAGINA - Sexy amateur women showing their princess vaginas to you for free!
WHIPPED CREAM TEENS - Sexy teen babes in nude pics so hot you'll want to cover them in cream and lick forever.
HUGE PORN EMPIRE - Quality links to a wide range of over 1400 porn sites!
SUPER ADULT SEXY LINKS - You'll love all of these porn pictures and links!
PORNO PAGES OF PUSSY - Get your rocks off spanking it to these babes!
YOUR PORN DIRECTORY - Even more porno for you to see right now!









Our site only contains images of women and/or men
of legal age to pose naked. We only show you pictures for which we
own a web license for their use.


Copyright © 1998-2001, Digital Reign Incorporated. All Rights Reserved. Email us at: webmaster@xxxvirginpussy.com anytime.


All 18 U.S.C. 2257 information is on file with Digital Reign Inc. at its corporate headquaters. Please e-mail your requests for information. You may also access our privacy statement as well as our 18 U.S.C. 2257 info. We also have an amazing collection of porn links on our porn empire as well as a list of thousands of sites on our porn list available anytime.

... schrieb am 16.2. 2003 um 11:36:32 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)

aberEsGehtAuchAnders
aberGanzBestimmt
AberHeuteGehtDasSchlagAufSchlag
aberWie
abUndZu
AchDuSchreck
achWas
alsoIchSachMal
ausDieMaus
BistDuDu
da-ist-es-ja
DasBinIch
DasGibtsDochNichtWasDieTun
Das-glaubst-Du-nicht
dasHatGeradeNochGefehlt
DasHatMalGarNichtsMitDirZuTun
DasHatMalGarNichtsMitMirZuTun
DasHatNichtsMitDirZuTun
DasHatNichtsMitMirZuTun
DasHatÜberhauptNichtsMitDirZuTun
DasHatÜberhauptNichtsMitMirZuTun
DasHatWasMitDirZuTun
DasHatWasMitMirZuTun
DasIstEsWasDuWillst
dasIstJaAllerhand
DasWarKlar
DieMöncheHabenDichMitAltemObstBeworfen
DinsgBumms-Äh-DingsDa-BummsDings
dochEsGehtAuchSo
DreckAmStecken
DuBistDu
DuHastWasDamitZuTun
EigentlichIstJaAllesGanzAnders
EntscheideDichJetzt
entschwanzeDichJetzt
EsHatWasMitDirZuTun
EsHatWasMitMirZuTun
esIstEinUrschImBlaster
EsIstSoWeit
etc
EtnscheideDichJetzt
geschichtenDieKeinerLesenWill
HarteSchlägeAufDieStirn
HeuteSitzeIchNichtVorSondernHinterDemComputer
hierIstEsJetztEndlich
Ich
IchBinEinfachDerBeste
IchBinIch
IchEigentlichAuch
IchHabWasDamitZuTun
IchLiebeDich
IchWarEsNicht
irgendWarum
irgendWer
IstAberSo
jaDoSchauHer
jaDoSchauHer
JaJetzLeckMiDoAmOarsch
JaScheißDirDochDenBuckelNauf
jetztHabIchEsVergessen
Leute-die-am-anderen-Ende-des-Blasters-hocken
Leute-die-am-Tag-schlafen
Leute-dieAnDenWeihnachtsmannGlauben
Leute-dieAnDenWeltuntergangGlauben
Leute-die-an-diesem-Ende-des-Blasters-hocken
Leute-dieAufeinanderSchießenSindÜberflüssig
Leute-die-denArschImGesichtTragen
Leute-die-inDerBlasterStatistikHerumlungern
Leute-die-meinenSieHättenDieUltimativeKritikParat
Leute-die-Namen-des-anderen-Geschlechts-benutzen
Leute-die-um-01Uhr-40im-Blaster-sind
LeuteDieUnterMeinemNamenTexteSchreiben
Leute-die-unter-verschiedenen-Namen-Texte-schreibe
leute-die-unter-verschissenen-namen-texte-schreibe
Leute-unter-deren-Name-ich-Texte-schreibe
LinkSchreibfehler
LinkSchreibung
MachWasDraus
meckerEcke
MehrereLeuteDieUnterEinemNamenTexteSchreiben
MeinPrivatesStichwort-HierBitteKeineTexteEingeben
MerkSatz
möchteGern
monTage
mösenSchlupfer
nichtLustig
NichtssagendeTexte
nieWieder
NurKeineAufregung
oberlichtGeschwindigkeit
oderAberEigentlichAuchNicht
oha
pardon
politischesGleichgewicht
privatLOCH
ProbierDochEinfachMalWasNeues
pseudoIntellektuelle
RandalierendeRentner
Rantanplan
retteSichWerKann
rotationsSchiefe
RussischesPreiswichsen
Sachengibtsdiegibtsgarnicht
SagIchDoch
ScheißeBabble
SchlafloseNächte
schwarzesLoch
schwuliBert
soIsses
soWieSo
Sphinx
tagelangNichtsUndJetztDas
umGottesWillen
unAbwendbar
UndJetztKommstDu
unkaputtbar
unSymbadisch
vakjuh
VerbalerTiefflieger
VereinZurRettungVerlorenerStichwörter
VerlinkteGehirne
vielerlei
VollgasNiere
WahlSchwabe
WasAuchImmer
WasBinIch
WasBistDu
WasHatDasMitDirZuTun
WasHatDasMitMirZuTun
WasWillstDu
WenGehtDasEigentlichGarNixAn
WerBinIch
WerBistDu
WerHätteDasGedacht
WerIstErDenNiemandKennt
WerKenntHierWen
WieBaldIstJetzt
wie-geht-es-jetzt-weiter

Bettina Beispiel schrieb am 12.3. 2003 um 03:24:46 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)

In den letzten 24 Stunden kamen zum Assoziations-Blaster 364 Assoziationen und 32 neue Stichwörter hinzu.
In the last 24 hours 364 associations and 32 new references were added to the association Blaster.
最後の24 時間に364 の連合及び32 の新しい参照は連合の発破工 へ 加えられた。
Combination of 364 and the reference whose 32 is new were added to the blast manufacture of combination in last 24 hours.
Una combinazione di 364 ed il riferimento di cui 32 sono nuovi sono stati aggiunti alla fabbricazione di scoppio di combinazione in ultimo 24 ore.
A combination of the 364 and reference of which 32 they are new has been added to the fabrication of last explosion of combination in 24 hours.
Eine Kombination der 364 und Hinweis, von dem 32 sie neu sind, ist der Herstellung der letzten Explosion der Kombination in 24 Stunden hinzugefügt worden.
Une combinaison des 364 et l'indication, dont 32 ils sont nouveaux, ont été ajoutées à la fabrication de la dernière explosion de la combinaison dans 24 heures.
A combination of the 364 and the indication, of which 32 they are new, was added to the manufacture of the last explosion of the combination in 24 hours.
364의 조합및 32이 그들 새로운, 표시는 24 시간안에 조합의 마지막 폭발의 제조에 추가되었다.
The union of 364 and 32 they is new, the indication inside 24 hours was added in manufacture of last explosion of the union.
A união de 364 e de 32 que são novos, a indicação dentro de 24 horas foi adicionada na manufatura da última explosão da união.
The union of 364 and 32 that they are new, the indication inside 24-hour was added in the manufacture of the last explosion of the union.
联合364 和32, 他们新, 征兆在24 小时里面被增加在联合的最后爆炸的制造。
Unites 364 and 32, they is new, the indication is increased inside 24 hours in the union final detonation manufacture.
Une 364 y 32, son nuevos, la indicación se aumentan dentro de 24 horas en la fabricación final de la detonación de la unión.
It unites 364 and 32, are new, the indication are increased within 24 hours in the final manufacture of the detonation of the union.
Es vereinigt 364 und 32, sind, die Anzeige werden erhöht innerhalb 24 Stunden in der abschließenden Herstellung der Detonation des Anschlußes neu.

Nofretete schrieb am 31.10. 2002 um 19:34:54 Uhr zu

DATENMÜLL

Bewertung: 1 Punkt(e)

GOETHE

Reineke Fuchs

Erster Gesang

Pfingsten, das liebliche Fest, war gekommen! es grünten und blühten
Feld und Wald; auf Hügeln und Höhn, in Büschen und Hecken
Übten ein fröhliches Lied die neuermunterten Vögel;
Jede Wiese sproßte von Blumen in duftenden Gründen,
Festlich heiter glänzte der Himmel und farbig die Erde.
Nobel, der König, versammelt den Hof; und seine Vasallen
Eilen gerufen herbei mit großem Gepränge; da kommen
Viele stolze Gesellen von allen Seiten und Enden,
Lütke, der Kranich, und Markart, der Häher, und alle die Besten.
Denn der König gedenkt mit allen seinen Baronen
Hof zu halten in Feier und Pracht; er läßt sie berufen
Alle miteinander, so gut die Großen als Kleinen.
Niemand sollte fehlen! und dennoch fehlte der Eine,
Reineke Fuchs, der Schelm! der viel begangenen Frevels
Halben des Hofs sich enthielt. So scheuet das böse Gewissen
Licht und Tag, es scheute der Fuchs die versammelten Herren.
Alle hatten zu klagen, er hatte sie alle beleidigt,
Und nur Grimbart, den Dachs, den Sohn des Bruders, verschont' er.

Isegrim aber, der Wolf, begann die Klage; von allen
Seinen Vettern und Gönnern, von allen Freunden begleitet,
Trat er vor den König und sprach die gerichtlichen Worte:
Gnädigster König und Herr! vernehmet meine Beschwerden.
Edel seid Ihr und groß und ehrenvoll, jedem erzeigt Ihr
Recht und Gnade: so laßt Euch denn auch des Schadens erbarmen,
Den ich von Reineke Fuchs mit großer Schande gelitten.
Aber vor allen Dingen erbarmt Euch, daß er mein Weib so
Freventlich öfters verhöhnt und meine Kinder verletzt hat.
Ach! er hat sie mit Unrat besudelt, mit ätzendem Unflat,
Daß mir zu Hause noch drei in bittrer Blindheit sich quälen.
Zwar ist alle der Frevel schon lange zur Sprache gekommen,
Ja, ein Tag war gesetzt, zu schlichten solche Beschwerden;
Er erbot sich zum Eide, doch bald besann er sich anders
Und entwischte behend nach seiner Feste. Das wissen
Alle Männer zu wohl, die hier und neben mir stehen.
Herr! ich könnte die Drangsal, die mir der Bube bereitet,
Nicht mit eilenden Worten in vielen Wochen erzählen.
Würde die Leinwand von Gent, so viel auch ihrer gemacht wird,
Alle zu Pergament, sie faßte die Streiche nicht alle,
Und ich schweige davon. Doch meines Weibes Entehrung
Frißt mir das Herz; ich räche sie auch, es werde, was wolle.

Als nun Isegrim so mit traurigem Mute gesprochen,
Trat ein Hündchen hervor, hieß Wackerlos, redte französisch
Vor dem König: wie arm es gewesen und nichts ihm geblieben
Als ein Stückchen Wurst in einem Wintergebüsche;
Reineke hab auch das ihm genommen! Jetzt sprang auch der Kater
Hinze zornig hervor und sprach: Erhabner Gebieter,
Niemand beschwere sich mehr, daß ihm der Bösewicht schade,
Denn der König allein! Ich sag Euch, in dieser Gesellschaft
Ist hier niemand, jung oder alt, er fürchtet den Frevler
Mehr als Euch! Doch Wackerlos' Klage will wenig bedeuten.
Schon sind Jahre vorbei, seit diese Händel geschehen;
Mir gehörte die Wurst! ich sollte mich damals beschweren.
Jagen war ich gegangen; auf meinem Wege durchsucht ich
Eine Mühle zu Nacht; es schlief die Müllerin; sachte
Nahm ich ein Würstchen, ich will es gestehn; doch hatte zu dieser
Wackerlos irgendein Recht, so dankt' ers meiner Bemühung.

Und der Panther begann: Was helfen Klagen und Worte!
Wenig richten sie aus, genug, das Übel ist ruchtbar.
Er ist ein Dieb, ein Mörder! Ich darf es kühnlich behaupten,
Ja, es wissens die Herren, er übet jeglichen Frevel.
Möchten doch alle die Edlen, ja selbst der erhabene König
Gut und Ehre verlieren: er lachte, gewänn er nur etwa
Einen Bissen dabei von einem fetten Kapaune.
Laßt Euch erzählen, wie er so übel an Lampen, dem Hasen,
Gestern tat; hier steht er! der Mann, der keinen verletzte.
Reineke stellte sich fromm und wollt ihn allerlei Weisen
Kürzlich lehren, und was zum Kaplan noch weiter gehöret,
Und sie setzten sich gegeneinander, begannen das Kredo.
Aber Reineke konnte die alten Tücken nicht lassen;
Innerhalb unsers Königes Fried und freiem Geleite
Hielt er Lampen gefaßt mit seinen Klauen und zerrte
Tückisch den redlichen Mann. Ich kam die Straße gegangen,
Hörte beider Gesang, der, kaum begonnen, schon wieder
Endete. Horchend wundert ich mich, doch als ich hinzukam,
Kannt ich Reineken stracks, er hatte Lampen beim Kragen;
Ja, er hätt ihm gewiß das Leben genommen, wofern ich
Nicht zum Glücke des Wegs gekommen wäre. Da steht er!
Seht die Wunden an ihm, dem frommen Manne, den keiner
Zu beleidigen denkt. Und will es unser Gebieter,
Wollt ihr Herren es leiden, daß so des Königes Friede,
Sein Geleit und Brief von einem Diebe verhöhnt wird,
O, so wird der König und seine Kinder noch späten
Vorwurf hören von Leuten, die Recht und Gerechtigkeit lieben.

Isegrim sagte darauf. So wird es bleiben, und leider
Wird uns Reineke nie was Gutes erzeigen. O! läg er
Lange tot, das wäre das beste für friedliche Leute;
Aber wird ihm diesmal verziehn, so wird er in kurzem
Etliche kühnlich berücken, die nun es am wenigsten glauben.

Reinekens Neffe, der Dachs, nahm jetzt die Rede, und mutig
Sprach er zu Reinekens Bestem, so falsch auch dieser bekannt war.
Alt und wahr, Herr Isegrim! sagt' er, beweist sich das Sprichwort:
Feindes Mund frommt selten. So hat auch wahrlich mein Oheim
Eurer Worte sich nicht zu getrösten. Doch ist es ein leichtes.
Wär er hier am Hofe so gut als Ihr, und erfreut' er
Sich des Königes Gnade, so möcht es Euch sicher gereuen,
Daß Ihr so hämisch gesprochen und alte Geschichten erneuert.
Aber was Ihr Übels an Reineken selber verübet,
Übergeht Ihr; und doch, es wissen es manche der Herren,
Wie Ihr zusammen ein Bündnis geschlossen und beide versprochen,
Als zwei gleiche Gesellen zu leben. Das muß ich erzählen;
Denn im Winter einmal erduldet' er große Gefahren
Euretwegen. Ein Fuhrmann, er hatte Fische geladen,
Fuhr die Straße, Ihr spürtet ihn aus und hättet um alles
Gern von der Ware gegessen; doch fehlt' es Euch leider am Gelde.
Da beredetet Ihr den Oheim, er legte sich listig
Grade für tot in den Weg. Es war, beim Himmel, ein kühnes
Abenteuer! Doch merket, was ihm für Fische geworden.
Und der Fuhrmann kam und sah im Gleise den Oheim,
Hastig zog er sein Schwert, ihm eins zu versetzen; der Kluge
Rührt' und regte sich nicht, als wär er gestorben; der Fuhrmann
Wirft ihn auf seinen Karrn und freut sich des Balges im voraus.
Ja, das wagte mein Oheim für Isegrim; aber der Fuhrmann
Fuhr dahin, und Reineke warf von den Fischen herunter.
Isegrim kam von ferne geschlichen, verzehrte die Fische.
Reineken mochte nicht länger zu fahren belieben; er hub sich,
Sprang vom Karren und wünschte nun auch von der Beute zu speisen.
Aber Isegrim hatte sie alle verschlungen; er hatte
Über Not sich beladen, er wollte bersten. Die Gräten
Ließ er allein zurück und bot dem Freunde den Rest an.
Noch ein anderes Stückchen! auch dies erzähl ich Euch wahrhaft.
Reineken war es bewußt, bei einem Bauer am Nagel
Hing ein gemästetes Schwein, erst heute geschlachtet; das sagt' er
Treu dem Wolfe: sie gingen dahin, Gewinn und Gefahren
Redlich zu teilen. Doch Müh und Gefahr trug jener alleine.
Denn er kroch zum Fenster hinein und warf mit Bemühen
Die gemeinsame Beute dem Wolf herunter; zum Unglück
Waren Hunde nicht fern, die ihn im Hause verspürten
Und ihm wacker das Fell zerzausten. Verwundet entkam er,
Eilig sucht' er Isegrim auf und klagt' ihm sein Leiden
Und verlangte sein Teil. Da sagte jener: Ich habe
Dir ein köstliches Stück verwahrt, nun mache dich drüber
Und benage mirs wohl; wie wird das Fette dir schmecken!
Und er brachte das Stück, das Krummholz war es, der Schlächter
Hatte daran das Schwein gehängt; der köstliche Braten
War vom gierigen Wolfe, dem ungerechten, verschlungen.
Reineke konnte vor Zorn nicht reden, doch was er sich dachte,
Denket euch selbst. Herr König, gewiß, daß hundert und drüber
Solcher Stückchen der Wolf an meinem Oheim verschuldet!
Aber ich schweige davon. Wird Reineke selber gefordert,
Wird er sich besser verteidigen. Indessen, gnädigster König,
Edler Gebieter, ich darf es bemerken: Ihr habet, es haben
Diese Herren gehört, wie töricht Isegrims Rede
Seinem eignen Weibe und ihrer Ehre zu nah tritt,
Die er mit Leib und Leben beschützen sollte. Denn freilich
Sieben Jahre sinds her und drüber, da schenkte mein Oheim
Seine Lieb und Treue zum guten Teile der schönen
Frauen Gieremund; solches geschah beim nächtlichen Tanze;
Isegrim war verreist, ich sag es, wie mirs bekannt ist.
Freundlich und höflich ist sie ihm oft zu Willen geworden,
Und was ist es denn mehr? Sie bracht es niemals zur Klage,
Ja, sie lebt und befindet sich wohl, was macht er für Wesen?
Wär er klug, so schwieg' er davon, es bringt ihm nur Schande.
Weiter sagte der Dachs: Nun kommt das Märchen vom Hasen!
Eitel leeres Gewäsche! Den Schüler sollte der Meister
Etwa nicht züchtigen, wenn er nicht merkt und übel bestehet?
Sollte man nicht die Knaben bestrafen, und ginge der Leichtsinn,
Ginge die Unart so hin, wie sollte die Jugend erwachsen?
Nun klagt Wackerlos, wie er ein Würstchen im Winter verloren
Hinter der Hecke; das sollt er nur lieber im stillen verschmerzen,
Denn wir hören es ja, sie war gestohlen; zerronnen
Wie gewonnen; und wer kann meinem Oheim verargen,
Daß er gestohlenes Gut dem Diebe genommen? Es sollen
Edle Männer von hoher Geburt sich gehässig den Dieben
Und gefährlich erzeigen. Ja, hätt er ihn damals gehangen,
War es verzeihlich. Doch ließ er ihn los, den König zu ehren;
Denn am Leben zu strafen, gehört dem König alleine.
Aber wenigen Danks kann sich mein Oheim getrösten,
So gerecht er auch sei und Übeltaten verwehret.
Denn seitdem des Königes Friede verkündiget worden,
Hält sich niemand wie er. Er hat sein Leben verändert,
Speiset nur einmal des Tags, lebt wie ein Klausner, kasteit sich,
Trägt ein härenes Kleid auf bloßem Leibe und hat schon
Lange von Wildbret und zahmem Fleische sich gänzlich enthalten,
Wie mir noch gestern einer erzählte, der bei ihm gewesen.
Malepartus, sein Schloß, hat er verlassen und baut sich
Eine Klause zur Wohnung. Wie er so mager geworden,
Bleich von Hunger und Durst und andern strengeren Bußen,
Die er reuig erträgt, das werdet Ihr selber erfahren.
Denn was kann es ihm schaden, daß hier ihn jeder verklaget?
Kommt er hieher, so führt er sein Recht aus und macht sie zuschanden.

Als nun Grimbart geendigt, erschien zu großem Erstaunen
Henning, der Hahn, mit seinem Geschlecht. Auf trauriger Bahre,
Ohne Hals und Kopf, ward eine Henne getragen,
Kratzefuß war es, die beste der eierlegenden Hennen.
Ach, es floß ihr Blut, und Reineke hatt es vergossen!
Jetzo sollt es der König erfahren. Als Henning, der wackre,
Vor dem König erschien, mit höchstbetrübter Gebärde,
Kamen mit ihm zwei Hähne, die gleichfalls trauerten. Kreyant
Hieß der eine, kein besserer Hahn war irgend zu finden
Zwischen Holland und Frankreich; der andere durft ihm zur Seite
Stehen, Kantart genannt, ein stracker, kühner Geselle;
Beide trugen ein brennendes Licht; sie waren die Brüder
Der ermordeten Frau. Sie riefen über den Mörder
Ach und Weh! Es trugen die Bahr zwei jüngere Hähne,
Und man konnte von fern die Jammerklage vernehmen.
Henning sprach: Wir klagen den unersetzlichen Schaden,
Gnädigster Herr und König! Erbarmt Euch, wie ich verletzt bin,
Meine Kinder und ich. Hier seht Ihr Reinekens Werke!
Als der Winter vorbei, und Laub und Blumen und Blüten
Uns zur Fröhlichkeit riefen, erfreut ich mich meines Geschlechtes,
Das so munter mit mir die schönen Tage verlebte!
Zehen junge Söhne, mit vierzehn Töchtern, sie waren
Voller Lust zu leben; mein Weib, die treffliche Henne,
Hatte sie alle zusammen in Einem Sommer erzogen.
Alle waren so stark und wohl zufrieden, sie fanden
Ihre tägliche Nahrung an wohlgesicherter Stätte.
Reichen Mönchen gehörte der Hof, uns schirmte die Mauer,
Und sechs große Hunde, die wackern Genossen des Hauses,
Liebten meine Kinder und wachten über ihr Leben;
Reineken aber, den Dieb, verdroß es, daß wir in Frieden
Glückliche Tage verlebten und seine Ränke vermieden.
Immer schlich er bei Nacht um die Mauer und lauschte beim Tore,
Aber die Hunde bemerktens; da mocht er laufen! sie faßten
Wacker ihn endlich einmal und ruckten das Fell ihm zusammen;
Doch er rettete sich und ließ uns ein Weilchen in Ruhe.
Aber nun höret mich an! es währte nicht lange, so kam er
Als ein Klausner und brachte mir Brief und Siegel. Ich kannt es:
Euer Siegel sah ich am Briefe; da fand ich geschrieben:
Daß Ihr festen Frieden so Tieren als Vögeln verkündigt.
Und er zeigte mir an: er sei ein Klausner geworden,
Habe strenge Gelübde getan, die Sünden zu büßen,
Deren Schuld er leider bekenne. Da habe nun keiner
Mehr vor ihm sich zu fürchten, er habe heilig gelobet,
Nimmermehr Fleisch zu genießen. Er ließ mich die Kutte beschauen,
Zeigte sein Skapulier. Daneben wies er ein Zeugnis,
Das ihm der Prior gestellt, und, um mich sicher zu machen,
Unter der Kutte ein härenes Kleid. Dann ging er und sagte:
Gott dem Herren seid mir befohlen! ich habe noch vieles
Heute zu tun! ich habe die Sext und die None zu lesen
Und die Vesper dazu. Er las im Gehen und dachte
Vieles Böse sich aus, er sann auf unser Verderben.
Ich mit erheitertem Herzen erzählte geschwinde den Kindern
Eures Briefes fröhliche Botschaft, es freuten sich alle.
Da nun Reineke Klausner geworden, so hatten wir weiter
Keine Sorge, noch Furcht. Ich ging mit ihnen zusammen
Vor die Mauer hinaus, wir freuten uns alle der Freiheit.
Aber leider bekam es uns übel. Er lag im Gebüsche
Hinterlistig; da sprang er hervor und verrannt uns die Pforte;
Meiner Söhne schönsten ergriff er und schleppt' ihn von dannen,
Und nun war kein Rat, nachdem er sie einmal gekostet;
Immer versucht' er es wieder, und weder Jäger noch Hunde
Konnten vor seinen Ränken bei Tag und Nacht uns bewahren.
So entriß er mir nun fast alle Kinder; von zwanzig
Bin ich auf fünfe gebracht, die andern raubt' er mir alle.
O, erbarmt Euch des bittern Schmerzes! er tötete gestern
Meine Tochter, es haben die Hunde den Leichnam gerettet.
Seht, hier liegt sie! Er hat es getan, o! nehmt es zu Herzen!

Und der König begann: Kommt näher, Grimbart, und sehet,
Also fastet der Klausner, und so beweist er die Buße!
Leb ich noch aber ein Jahr, so soll es ihn wahrlich gereuen!
Doch was helfen die Worte! Vernehmet, trauriger Henning:
Eurer Tochter ermangl es an nichts, was irgend den Toten
Nur zu Rechte geschieht. Ich lass ihr Vigilie singen,
Sie mit großer Ehre zur Erde bestatten; dann wollen
Wir mit diesen Herren des Mordes Strafe bedenken.

Da gebot der König, man solle Vigilie singen.
Domino placebo begann die Gemeine, sie sangen
Alle Verse davon. Ich könnte ferner erzählen,
Wer die Lektion gesungen und wer die Responsen;
Aber es währte zu lang, ich lass es lieber bewenden.
In ein Grab ward die Leiche gelegt und drüber ein schöner
Marmorstein, poliert wie ein Glas, gehauen im Viereck,
Groß und dick, und oben darauf war deutlich zu lesen:
»Kratzefuß, Tochter Hennings des Hahns, die beste der Hennen,
Legte viel Eier ins Nest und wußte klüglich zu scharren.
Ach, hier liegt sie! durch Reinekens Mord den Ihren genommen.
Alle Welt soll erfahren, wie bös und falsch er gehandelt,
Und die Tote beklagenSo lautete, was man geschrieben.

Und es ließ der König darauf die Klügsten berufen,
Rat mit ihnen zu halten, wie er den Frevel bestrafte,
Der so klärlich vor ihn und seine Herren gebracht war.
Und sie rieten zuletzt: man habe dem listigen Frevler
Einen Boten zu senden, daß er um Liebes und Leides
Nicht sich entzöge, er solle sich stellen am Hofe des Königs
An dem Tage der Herrn, wenn sie zunächst sich versammeln;
Braun, den Bären, ernannte man aber zum Boten. Der König
Sprach zu Braun, dem Bären: Ich sag es, Euer Gebieter,
Daß Ihr mit Fleiß die Botschaft verrichtet! Doch rat ich zur Vorsicht:
Denn es ist Reineke falsch und boshaft, allerlei Listen
Wird er gebrauchen, er wird Euch schmeicheln, er wird Euch belügen,
Hintergehen, wie er nur kann. Mitnichten, versetzte
Zuversichtlich der Bär: bleibt ruhig! Sollt er sich irgend
Nur vermessen und mir zum Hohne das mindeste wagen,
Seht, ich schwör es bei Gott! der möge mich strafen, wofern ich
Ihm nicht grimmig vergölte, daß er zu bleiben nicht wüßte.

Einige zufällige Stichwörter

Blasewitz
Erstellt am 17.3. 2018 um 00:35:34 Uhr von Christine, enthält 17 Texte

Ruine
Erstellt am 30.3. 2000 um 17:17:06 Uhr von schwalle, enthält 29 Texte

RudolfSteiner
Erstellt am 8.12. 2003 um 00:55:37 Uhr von Mystikerin, enthält 26 Texte

schnnelle
Erstellt am 14.11. 2024 um 18:10:36 Uhr von schmidt, enthält 2 Texte

Nutzen-Gewicht-Relation
Erstellt am 27.2. 2002 um 11:28:43 Uhr von Richard, enthält 9 Texte


Der Assoziations-Blaster ist ein Projekt vom Assoziations-Blaster-Team (Alvar C.H. Freude und Dragan Espenschied) | 0,3391 Sek.